I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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