I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize