you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
