she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize