I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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