Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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