Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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