like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
