This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
