how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
our cab driver is having phone sex.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
