Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
