I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
