Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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