i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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