It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
