I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
