Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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