just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
