i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
