Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
