I feel great
I just peed on a car
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
