I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
