Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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