you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
