New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize