Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
