is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
