I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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