when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
