there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
