I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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