Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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