genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize