what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
