google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
