Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
