kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
