Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
As shirtless as possible
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
