You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
