Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
