so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
