the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize