you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize