so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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