hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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