I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
