just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
