Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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