We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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