Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize