He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize