Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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