how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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