He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
