yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
