Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
