they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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