Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
