Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
