After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize