It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
