On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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