Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
