I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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