Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
