what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
