hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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