i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Bang-toberfest begins!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
