Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
