i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
