my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
