I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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