good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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