If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
