I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
