i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
