You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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