Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
