quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
