That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
