Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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